Day 8
Yesterday was the toughest day by far. My biggest trigger to drink is being alone. I feel like i need to take any time i have alone to drink. This goes back to hiding it for the last year. Mom left yesterday and i had to pace around for an hour. I wont lie, this is going to be difficult and i will be leaning on matt and dad once i get back out in the world.
On top of the cravings, i ended up having a dream where i snuck a beer and got caught, so then i had the choice to get hammered or stop or go to rehab. I chose to get hammered which is concerning but its still only a dream.
On the plus side, the depression and anxiety isn’t as bad as i expected, maybe because im learning and making progress in networking or because i am happy with the realization that i can never have another drink of alcohol.
To-Do list:
Finish the applied and live labs.
Do the practice exam for labs
Go back through module exams and checkpoint exams
Finish up taxes
Day 7
Officially one week alcohol free. The physical withdrawals are mostly gone and i am sleeping much better. this morning i actually had a solid bowel movement rather than the liquified organs that usually come out. I can feel my body healing but i can also feel my brain waking up. Reading comprehension has been improving all week.
The cravings are still the worst in the mornings as expected. This week i will be focusing on identifying cravings, recording how long they last without calling someone vs. calling someone immediately. Its not an issue now as i have remembered that Uber exists.
Even saying that though, brought chills to my spine because i know that my next beer will cost me everything.
This thought process is the definition of insanity. I am putting a stop to the insanity.
To-Do list today:
setup the NUC
finish comptia labs
start taking module review exams
memorize flash cards
understand subnetting
Day 6
Yesterday i made a lot of progress with the labs and flashcards so today will be more of the same. I got to play 15 or so games of pool with Thompson last night an didnt get home until 1030p. By the time i got to sleep it was after midnight but i still got up just after 7a and started the day.
Today i will be at the desk, plugging away. Looks like it will be cold and rainy for the next few days so i wont be walking the cul-de-sac for a bit.
My parents went out last night, my dad took the case of beer with him that he thought had 6 in it but really only had 3 since i didnt gget a chance to restock them after the accident. that was a bit embarrassing but they didn’t say anything. I kind of wish they had.
Huge shout out to my best friend thompson. thank you brother
Day 5
One day at a time
Last night was the first real night of sleep that i have had in a long time. I am feeling better physically but can feel the cravings starting to come back in the mornings, so it is imperative that i spend the first hour of each day in my “meeting’ with youtubers talking about the effects of alcohol and the insanity of myself still wanting to drink. Starting the day off in this way seems to be imperative to tamping down the cravings throughout the day. It really is crazy that i can be sitting here thinking about all the terrible things that alcohol has brought to my life and i STILL want to go grab some Natty’s. This is going to be at least 3 months before i even have any sort of handle on it. and just that makes me nervous to think about.
The fear inside me of “what if” is constant. This is going to literally be living sober only one day at a time.
Things to do today:
Clean the bathroom
put away laundry
Organize/clean bedroom
organize/clean office
Finish labs for comptia
Understand Subnetting
Blog Post Title One
It all begins with an idea.
It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
Blog Post Title Two
It all begins with an idea.
It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
Blog Post Title Three
It all begins with an idea.
It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.
Blog Post Title Four
It all begins with an idea.
It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.
Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.